April 2012
40 posts
Watchcollegehumor:
Woman Slipping on Butter to Adele
Never mind, I’ll find someone completely different.
I love this so much!
During a Period
Uterus: I hope you didn't like those underwear.
Stomach: EAT ALL THE THINGS!
Emotions: I don't care that you were crying your eyes out ten minutes ago, that was fucking funny. Now go act like you're high until I see something that pisses me the fuck off.
Stomach: ESPECIALLY THE CHOCOLATY THINGS!
Uterus: Also I've decided to act like something's constantly punching me. I hope you don't mind.
Me: why can I not have a penis.
When you make a joke and the entire class laughs:
tyleroakley:
parishillton:
the celine dion one!!! I LOVE IT!! :D
Hunger Games Pick up lines
What are the odds of you being in my favour?
Did a cannon just sound, or is that my heart beating for you?
Is that a bread roll in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
Are you the arena? Because I'm about to enter you.
Are you from district 12? Because I'm about to make you mine.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you're from district 6, I'm from district 9.
Are you an Avox? Because you leave me speechless.
If you are looking for a boyfriend? Because I volunteer as tribute.
Katniss did you lose an arrow? Because I found one in my heart.
Did Cinna set you on fire? Or are you just hot?
I may be a gamekeeper. But I won't play a game with your heart.
Are you from District 1? Cause from where I'm standing, you're Marvel-lous.
I'm usually a good guy but you make me wanna be a Cinna
Are you sure you're not a Mellark? 'Cause girl,you've got some nice buns.
That horrible moment when you accidentally close...
kairisama:
And then I end up reacting like this,
teacher: e-mail me the assignment by monday. i'll need your e-mail address.
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me: tastybitch69@aol.com
Mattress Surfing →
niknak79:
Expectation:
Reality:
